Episode 121
Breaking Free from Golden Handcuffs: Navigating the Tension of Financial Security vs Career Fulfillment
This week's episode of The Career Confidence Podcast covers an important topic, feeling trapped by the financial security that your current role affords you. In this episode we tak about:
- The psychological burden of golden handcuffs, where financial security traps individuals in unfulfilling careers.
- What does success mean beyond financial metrics, particularly in different seasons of life?
- The importance of financial planning to facilitate career transitions.
- How increased income can lead to less personal freedom and happiness.
- Gradual career transitions vs dramatic shifts to achieve sustainable satisfaction.
About Nicola Semple
I help people build their career confidence and achieve their career goals.
You can book a free no-obligation chat about how I can support you to achieve your career goals: https://nicolasemple.com/chat
You can get my free guide "Back Yourself: Your 7 Step Plan to Build Confidence and Achieve Your Career Goals": https://nicolasemple.com/backyourself
You can buy my book The Career Confidence Toolkit: Take Control of Your Career and Fulfil Your Potential: https://nicolasemple.com/book
Connect with me on Linked In to carry on the conversation: https://linkedin.com/in/iamnicolasemple
A new episode of The Career Confidence Podcast is released every second Friday. Hit the subscribe button and you will be the first to know when a new episode goes live.
Transcript
Foreign hello and welcome to the Career Confidence Podcast, where we share inspiring stories, practical strategies, hints and tips so that you build your career with confidence in this ever changing world.
Speaker A:Hi, I'm your host, Nicola Semple, a career and confidence coach and author of the Career Confidence Toolkit.
Speaker A:Today, I'm talking about money.
Speaker A:And I know it's a topic that lots of people, maybe you too, but lots of people feel uncomfortable talking about money.
Speaker A:But it's super important because time and time again I hear people say that they can't make a change to their career because they would never be able to match their salary anywhere else.
Speaker A:And look, I get it.
Speaker A:You've worked hard, you've climbed the ladder, and over the years, your salary's gone up and it's gone up and it's gone up.
Speaker A:In fact, the amount you get paid now is possibly more than you ever thought possible when you first started working.
Speaker A:And theoretically, you've got it all.
Speaker A:You've got the house, you've got the nice lifestyle, you've got that level of financial security that you have worked so hard for.
Speaker A:Why on earth would you want to jeopardize it?
Speaker A:But then at the same time, you're turning up for work every day and you are wishing you could be anywhere else but in that office, in that building, you are looking to the future.
Speaker A:And you can't imagine that in 10 or even in five years time, maybe even in 12 months time, that you will still be in the same place doing the same thing.
Speaker A:In fact, the very thought of it totally horrifies you.
Speaker A:But then you quickly switch back your thinking to that lovely level of financial security that your job gives you about the relative luxury.
Speaker A:Let's be honest, it is relative luxury that it affords you.
Speaker A:And again, you're telling yourself you need to just get on with it because you will never earn the same amount in a different role.
Speaker A:What I've just described to you is often referred to as golden handcuffs.
Speaker A:It's where your success and the achievements that you have worked so hard for are the things that are keeping you trapped.
Speaker A:One day you're so grateful for the opportunities and the financial rewards that come with your job, and then the next you're staring at your computer screen, wondering how you ended up spending your days doing work that is feeling increasingly meaningless to you.
Speaker A:And you're surrounded by people who frustrate you and often don't align with your values.
Speaker A:And I want to reassure you, it is such an easy trap to fall into, because as your income went up, your expenses probably went up to match it.
Speaker A:The mortgage got bigger, the cars got more expensive, the holidays became more elaborate.
Speaker A:And then maybe rather than one holiday a year, you could stretch to two holidays a year.
Speaker A:Basically, yours and your family's lifestyle has adjusted to your earning capacity.
Speaker A:So what started off as financial freedom has gradually transformed into financial obligation.
Speaker A:The money that was supposed to give you choices has actually ended up, in a lot of cases, eliminating them.
Speaker A:You've become trapped, but not by poverty, but by prosperity.
Speaker A:And what's even worse is that you've become so entrenched in your role and in the life it affords you.
Speaker A:You're increasingly feeling like the skills and expertise that made you successful are of no use in the outside world.
Speaker A:You spent years, maybe decades building your knowledge and expertise in a particular area.
Speaker A:The thought of starting over somewhere else or in a new industry, it just feels like throwing everything away that you've worked for.
Speaker A:But the longer you stay there, every single year, those golden handcuffs get heavier.
Speaker A:The pay rise, the bonus, the pension contributions.
Speaker A:With every payment you receive, you get another layer of security.
Speaker A:But you also find another reason to stay exactly where you are.
Speaker A:If you feel that you're in that situation.
Speaker A:Please note that I understand the impact those feelings are having on you when you're not enjoying your work.
Speaker A:But you need to show up every single day and go through the motions.
Speaker A:It's hard.
Speaker A:There's no spark, there's no enjoyment, there's no sense of purpose.
Speaker A:You're churning out the work for the sake of the money and then you start to feel guilty because you know how lucky you are.
Speaker A:There are so many people you know who would gladly trade places with you and have the level of financial security that you have.
Speaker A:So why can't you just be happy rather than feeling frustrated and ungrateful and selfish?
Speaker A:It's a really lonely place to be.
Speaker A:It's hard to complain about being well paid to friends when they're struggling financially and can't afford to pay their bills every month.
Speaker A:It's also hard to explain to your family why you might want to leave a job that provides such a lovely lifestyle for all of you.
Speaker A:And because of all of that, you carry on.
Speaker A:You suffer in silence.
Speaker A:You go through the motions and do what you've always done because you just can't see the alternative.
Speaker A:What else could you possibly do?
Speaker A:You're the respected accountant, or the high earning consultant, or whatever other identity you've taken on based on the role that you carry out.
Speaker A:You've got status, you've got respect.
Speaker A:Everybody knows your place in the world.
Speaker A:So if you're feeling like that and you start to question whether you want to continue doing what you're doing, you're not just questioning the job, you're questioning who you are.
Speaker A:And then the thought of walking away from a successful career can feel like walking away from who you and who everybody else believes you to be.
Speaker A:When you have defined yourself by your career, by your status, by your professional achievements, then considering other options feels like potentially having to become a whole different person.
Speaker A:So this fear that you've got, it runs way deeper than just about losing your income.
Speaker A:It's about losing respect, losing that sense of accomplishment that comes from being good at something and being good at something that's valued by the outside world.
Speaker A:The other factor to take into consideration is those golden handcuffs can feel all the tighter when you're not just supporting yourself.
Speaker A:If you're the primary breadwinner for a family, it's not just your financial security at risk, it's theirs as well.
Speaker A:And then that then leads you to think that the stakes are much higher.
Speaker A:Any change you are thinking of making can feel truly enormous, because that sense of responsibility is paralyzing the thought of disappointing your partner or your kids by not being able to give them the lifestyle they've grown used to, or even having to put financial strain on your partner.
Speaker A:It can make even the unhappiest person stay exactly where they are.
Speaker A:The irony is that families often suffer more when the provider is stressed and exhausted and resentful about their work.
Speaker A:And if you start to open up the conversation with them and tell them how you're feeling, you might be surprised by what they actually want for you.
Speaker A:They love you for you, not just for the stuff and the experiences that you provide.
Speaker A:But this can be so hard to see, so hard to understand when you're focused on those immediate practical concerns.
Speaker A:The other interesting thing about when somebody's wearing these golden handcuffs is they can often lead you to feel like there's an all or nothing thing scenario.
Speaker A:So when you're earning a pretty decent salary, any alternative that pays less can feel like a failure.
Speaker A:The idea of taking a step backward financially feels impossible, even if it might allow you to do more meaningful work that would make you happy.
Speaker A:This type of thinking really shuts down possibilities because it leads you to assume that career change means making some kind of dramatic reinvention, starting from the bottom, working your way back up again, and accepting significantly less money on a permanent basis.
Speaker A:But often these assumptions aren't true.
Speaker A:If you think like that you can't see the options that might allow you to gradually transition to something different.
Speaker A:How can you leverage the skills you've already got in a new context?
Speaker A:Or how can you come up with ways to maintain your income while you explore and experiment with different paths?
Speaker A:There are no guarantees that you'll be able to replace your income, but if you really start to think about it, there are probably some calculated risks that you could take.
Speaker A:And really what I want you to understand is it's not about finding the courage to walk away from your career.
Speaker A:You do need to think and you do need to plan carefully.
Speaker A:And the first step is often psychological.
Speaker A:It's acknowledging and accepting that the situation that you're in, despite the fact that it gives you all of that financial security, is actually making you unhappy.
Speaker A:It takes some work to come to terms with that and to accept it.
Speaker A:And it also means working through the emotional and the psychological cost of staying where you are.
Speaker A:What's the price of spending the next decade doing work that drains your soul?
Speaker A:How much is your mental health worth?
Speaker A:What's the value of coming home with the energy to engage with your family rather than being exhausted and grumpy?
Speaker A:You do need to get practical, and financial planning is crucial.
Speaker A:You've got to understand exactly what your essential expenses are versus the lifestyle choices that you make.
Speaker A:And this can help you understand if you've got more flexibility than you first thought.
Speaker A:Lots of people discover that actually they could maintain a level of financial security earning less than they currently do.
Speaker A:And maybe what you need to do is consider transition strategies.
Speaker A:You might need to save aggressively for a period of time so that you've got that financial cushion that you can fall back on.
Speaker A:Maybe you need to develop new skills gradually in your current role.
Speaker A:Maybe you need to explore ways that you could freelance or do some consulting work in your current field while you start to work towards something new.
Speaker A:I believe the biggest challenge of breaking free from those golden handcuffs is redefining what success means to you.
Speaker A:If you've always measured your achievement through salary and status, then you may have some work to do to help you identify what a successful life looks like for you.
Speaker A:Now.
Speaker A:As we get older, as we move through different seasons of our life, what we need to feel happy and fulfilled changes.
Speaker A:So take some time to consider in this season of your life, what does a successful life look like to you?
Speaker A:Maybe it's work that energizes you rather than drains you.
Speaker A:Maybe it's feeling proud of the contribution you've made to the world.
Speaker A:Maybe it's having the flexibility to be present for your children.
Speaker A:These forms of success are much harder to quantify than the number that hits your bank account every month, but often they're more sustainable sources of satisfaction in the long term.
Speaker A:If you would value support to help you identify your version of success and what might need to change in your career to help you live out that version of success, let's set up a time to chat.
Speaker A:You can book in some time by going to Nicolas Semple.com chat we can talk through the practical aspects of what a career change might look like for you.
Speaker A:But most importantly, I can help you get into the right mindset to embark on that change.
Speaker A:You don't have to feel the way you do.
Speaker A:You can take control of your career.
Speaker A:You can achieve the happiness and the fulfillment that you want, and also that you deserve.
Speaker A:That's all from me for today.
Speaker A:I've got more great episodes lined up over the next few months, so be sure to hit subscribe on your podcast app of choice and the episodes will be delivered straight to your device when they become available.
Speaker A:Remember, you can buy my book the Career Confidence Toolkit on Amazon, where it's available in paperback, Kindle and Audible formats.
Speaker A:And if you'd like to keep in contact, be sure to download my free guide Back yourself.
Speaker A:Your seven step plan to build confidence and achieve your career goals.
Speaker A:By going to nicholasimple.com backyourself as well as getting instant access to the guide, I'll send you my fortnightly newsletter with Career confidence hints and tips.
Speaker A:Thank you so much for listening and I'll talk to you again very soon.
Speaker A:Bye for now.
